mid-season re-tooling

When ‘Beverly Hills 90210’ started, it was your typical saccharine family drama about a family moving from who-knows-where to the most famous ZIP code in all the land.

Barely anyone watched. So the Powers That Be re-tooled the hell out of that nearly-dead horse, made the opening flashier, sexier, added some electric guitar riffs – and boom, a hit show.

I feel like 2015 is proving to be a re-tooling of my life.

First, the setting of my home life has changed. My living quarters have expanded, has more splashes of paint (though we lost a cool, movie-theater style gonzo carpet), and is at least a half hour away from the cast of Jackass/Party Down South.

The office has undergone a similar refresh – there’s bolder colors on the walls, the station’s new logo is plastered about, flat-screens abound.

It’s the “casting changes” that are making me nervous.

Over the course of the last year, the web team has grown by three people, and we’ll soon be getting another member.

Other sections in the news department have been going through changes, new producers, the exit of a main anchor. That gap is triggering a change in the people I’ll be interacting with in various ways.

Then cue Thursday afternoon, when I learned my own boss is on the way out – moving to another department.

Because we were in a weather event, I had to withhold my emotional attack until my break. But it happened – seven o’clock, closed off in the conference room where I eat lunch, choking back depressed tears while at the same time trying to keep hold of myself.

When changes impact me more directly, I have a history of not responding well, or being in auto-repel mode. I must not do this this time.

I’m nervous as all-hell about what’s to come in the weeks and months ahead.

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